Monday

sleep 2200-0400
i need to get my perscription today and as i'm down there see if i can see my G.P i have requested a copy of mennons report but who knows how much that will change now nice has been mentioned theres somthing in that report that has my G.P worried!
i'm trying to get some videos up loaded too they say theres nothing physical to prove ADHD just because only two of my children have been diagnosed don't mean to say my other two children ain't got it and it's all in the eyes and the medical profession look upon you as some sort of dick when this is mentioned. but you can judge for yourseves :D
i cant believe they have told me to get the public service ombusman in thats the last thing really they want me to do but saying that the probation board was taking the piss and would not help me out they can FOB me off all they like but they won't Fob off the PSO and i will get the information i need of the probation service through him.
but that would raise more questions to get answered like was information passed on about my treatment at a certain hospital passed on to the police to investigate?
and sheds light on breaches the DDA (disability discriminations act)

if combined ADHD DON'T Exist why is it the most comon sub type

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

ASPIE TEST RESULTS!

SEE ME SMILEING?

As you can see i don't look happy in any of my photos

even with a puppy and an ice cream this is due to mirror neurons not working theres a load of mental illnesses that can effect the mirror neurons but it is common in the autistic spectrum and ADHD shares the same genetics as Autism and ADHD and autism are linked my daughter has both ADHD and ASD!

it is posible I have aspergers and my ASPIE test results come back as I am likly to have aspergers but going off the not being able to reconise verbal cues ect in extreamly good at and i live in clutter and disorganisation and i have no intrest in meleculur structure ect! bit people say i'm like the rain man (dustin hoffman) i'll take this as a complement i think :)

NICE GUIDELINES

http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/12061/42065/42065.pdf



As you can see for you're self I must see a Specialist not any grade training doctor. as I have never met Dr Jawad in my life he has no say in the matter he did not even turn up for his appointment with me.

i'm awaiting hearing from him with answers to my questions!

Stoopid NHS :D

sat

sleep 1100-1900
busy day today i have to dig out all my school photos and send them via email to shut someone up :)

Friday

Sleep 0700-1500
sorry I missed a day my head was to mashed to blog after writing letters.
I got a letter of some OBE woman stating that the doctor i consulted alone with was a senior grade training doctor!
her name was doctor menon as she has now left the NHS there is nothing they can do about my complaint.
miss menon supervisor a Dr S Jawad his backing her up all the way, nice guidlines say i must see someone who specialises in the treatment of adult ADHD.
I wrote back to them asking to get doctor Jawad to write to me himself as he claims to have consulted with her before coming to the conclusion that i had a personality disorder caused through drug abuse and i know she told me on the day so unless he is telepathic he is talking through his arsehole.
i have asked him-
1, what type of personality disorder do i have? as there are many.
2, to confirm that combined ADHD does not exist.
3 that in order to have adult ADHD i must have sleep problems as a child
4 what drug caused this personality disorder?
5 when did i take it?
6 how many mg did i take of this drug i abused.

i'm in two minds to go to the press so what it is a trining hospital so that gives them the rights to let students loose unsupervised on the public there is more questions here than answers?
are heart units letting students do bypasses unsupervised? :o

wednesday!

sleep 00.00-10.00

Tuesday!

Sleep 20.30-02.30
oh well trying to keep awake for a good sleep wake routine did not pay off and i will feel knackered all day now!
and i got things to do namely sort my perscription out.
i have not heard anything about my complaint in the letter i recieved of them it states "we will normally let you have a reply within 30 working days of recieving you're concern. this means that you should expect a reply from us by the 27th of july 2011 if we are unable to respond within this time or if further investigation is required, we will let you know."
they are cutting this fine!

sunday!

Sleep 600-1400.
oh well 3 days to go before nothing happens :) just call me psychic!

Sat!

Sleep 03.30-12.30!

just 4 days until I get the verdict off the NHS but that ain't going to happen :)

Friday

sleep : 700-1300

I saw Ashton my youngest today my mother brought him up!
he is definitely showing signs of ADHD like the others it's shows in the eyes! I noticed his eyes his pupils where enlarged and he started jumping on my sofa then totally zoned into watching the telly!

Thursday!

sleep 1300-1800 GMT!
things are not doing well with respect to getting my floor done i have started but have broke a mop in the process this is getting to be an occurance! it's not like i use my mop alot there is no milage :)
its these super mops i like them in tearms that the height can be ajusted but the grabber for the mop head always breaks on them you know the type i mean now!
i'm after a mop with butter flies now with a shaft of at least 5' high :)

My personality disorder diagnoses caused through drug abuse?

I explained to the local mental health team that there  was a possibility that i had ADHD! also sleep apneoa but there is no point in sending me to the ADHD expert until i've been to the sleep clinic!

but they never listen to me!

i was ment to see a Dr Jawad at the Cardiff links centre but this did not happen i saw this Dr Menon and because i answered her back questioned her!
she pulled a "personality disorder caused by drug abuse" out of her arse!
she told me there was no such thing as combined type ADHD and only knew two types of ADHD one of which was ADD?
i did not have school reports at that time but some turned up so i sent them in with my complaint against her! :)

My Cyclothimia diagnosis :)

After looking into bipolar disorder i knew i did not have it! so i explaned what had been going on with my local mental health team ect; and asked to be refered to a neuropsychiatrist as there could be a chance that i may have I.D.D a condition found in epilepsy!
at my meeting with Dr Mensah he gave me a prolonged smile and i homed right in on it as it was so fake!
this fake smile is testing mirror neurons! :)

cyclothymia is just a label not a condition alot of people are confused about this label.

you will get this label if:

you do not meet the diagnostic critera for bipolar 1 or 2!
you have taken a class A drug within 2 years of diagnosis!
cyclothymia means mood changes in cycles and in some cases it can progress into bipolar disorder! but there is no diagnostic criteria for cyclothymia!
no list of symptoms!
in the usa it is dubbed bipolar 3 in the uk it means nothing!
what it is if you see a doctor he wont say look i don't know wtf is wrong with you? :)
so this doctor did do the right thing i did take class A drugs within 2 years of that diagnosis! so i don't have a problem with this Dr or the diagnosis at all.

Dr Septh Mensah told me that Epilepsy does not have a kindling effect! i told him in my case it had!
apart from that dissagreement he's alright.
but it has been many years since i had seen him and in that time-
my son and daughter have been diagnosed with ADHD!
I was shocked when my son lewis was diagnosed with ADHD as he shared alot of my triats!
i had to ask his shrink as i had a overload both my son and daughter getting an ADHD diagnoses i asked my sons shrink if adults could have adhd?
to my total shock and suprise he said yes! he also said and in adults it is mistaken for hypomania alot.
thats got me where i am now i know i got AADHD!
but what is bugging me alot is my Epilepsy having a kindling effect?
i have a theory for this that it is linked in with my sleep apneoa but as there is no way this can be really proved thats all it is a theory :)

My bipolar diagnosis!

i was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder but did not meet the criteria for bipolar!
as my medication was stabilizing my bipolar!
because it's total crap because if i was to say anything about my treatment the treatment of others it can all be put down to me having delusions :)

the medication that was stablising my bipolar disorder was neurontine gabapentine!
it has been taken off the market as a bipolar mood stabilizer but i still take it to treat Epilepsy!
basically the makers of neurontin where sued as it does not work as a bipolar mood stabilizer.

wednesday!

sleep 6AM- 2PM!
I got a gut feeling that I'm not going to hear anything from the NHS within the week time frame they have left.

Tuesday afternoon!

sleep 5ish AM-1ish PM
Another generally unproductive day! orange cut me off! so they can rebate me the money  i originally paid or they can stick there contracts right up their arses :)

monday morning!

Sleep 5ish Am- 12Pm

In under 10 days i will know the findings of my complaint with the NHS!
before a week Wednesday!
Orange have sent me another bill :)

Sunday!

Sleep going on for 4am-1pm!
last night I felt shattered I was going to watch a film lock stock and two smoking barrels but I've seen it before so i watched top of the pops 64-75!
i had my shopping come yesterday so did'nt get much done i have cracked the draw on my freezer with ramming it shut overloaded :o
this was no act of rage i over shopped :) and i did get the draw closed only cracked it in the process :S

I can feel a headache coming on :S

Sleep: 3ish-11ish AM

Nextdoor is driving me nuts with the constant building work he does he is constantly drilling masonary on hammer action this has been going on for ages how he got walls left I will never know!

I'm just hoping his his house implodes for some peace :)
well after an unproductive day yesterday i'm hoping to get something done today. my shopping is due for delivery between 6-8pm!

Dyslexia!

It turns out I have dyslexia something quite common in ADHD this was not discovered in school but in my 30's by the probation service!
but as I am not on a probation order they are not going to share any information!

I'm truely not that much bothered by this as if and when this gets to trial by jury I will get all concerned summons to court to testify :)
they had a choice they could easily have shared some information to help me out to the right diagnosis but they made the choice not to!
so it's down to them either to lie on oath or look complete muppets when my solicitor has a go at them when they are in the dock! :)

thank crunchie its friday!

Sleep- 2ish AM-11AM.
I had a lay in this morning but I can't say I feel refreshed! I did not get much done yesterday I had to go to the bank! and yes Orange did cash the cheque I sent them, then I had to sort my shopping out! I really need a faster pc and faster connection :) but that will have to go on my wish list!

Today i'm going to try my best to get the floor done! and I will have to rewash the clothes I totally forgot about in the washer!

mission partly completed

SLEEP 4ish AM -12 PM!
I did get somthing done a load of washing/drying, my moutain of washing up, I partly mopped my floor  well the dogs area!
the rest of the floor is cluttered with tools I have had out and ain't put back, this that and the other problem is clutter!
this gets out of hand with perfectionist tendancies! yes i did say perfectionist tendances say when I do the washing up there will not be so much of a tea stain in a cup they leave my sink in the same condition as they left the shop!
But I need to get to the bank before it shuts! :)

Sleep!

Sleep is vary important to funtioning if i don't get good sleep I don't function at all well! today I slept from 4ish AM to 11ish AM.
sleep can be an important factor in diagnoses. so I will incorperate my sleep into this blog for future referance :)
nothing much really to say today I want to get my floor cleaned, I have to sort out the mountain of dishes in the sink first! I will do some washing and drying in the process! (this sounds like a plan)
I got to phone orange too! they are on my back because they seem to think I did not pay my last bill but I know I sent them a cheque as the day I sent the cheque was the day I put my complaint in with the NHS and I've heard back from them to say they are looking into my complaint!
I got to go to the bank tomorrow any how so I will see if the cheques been cashed when I phone call centres I always get an Indian call centre and the majority of the coversation is me saying WHAT????
the reason I sent the cheque was to stall so I remained in the black with the bank so no overdraft fees :)
orange can suck eggs this is just a glitch I can send them another cheque not a problem the bank or catalogue is a diffrent matter they charge me fees :(

School days!

know when you are at infant school theres always the bitch teacher that everybody hates well mrs davis was the one all the kids dreaded going to her class!
one of my childhood memory's was getting that bitch shouting me i was ill the year before going to her class and had missed alot of school i remember she kicked off at me bigtime for doing absolutly no work in a whole year!
this is not entirely true as i did do the dot to dot at the back of my maths book!
she ripped into me big style but is this my fault! if she was any good at her job she would have clocked i was procastinating in her class a whole lot sooner.
my memory is pretty good from childhood i remember the cow sticker on my peg.
I remember being in the head mistresses office with my mother where mrs reece was convincing my mother there was no need to send me to a special school but now I think if i had of gone to a special school things may have turned out diffrent.
it is possible I could have had high functioning autism like aspergers but i am good at reading facial expressions. i don't take things so liturally.
but if something intrests me then i can become focused on the subject.
the photo's i have from school i'm never smiling this could be because i hated the place! or it could be that I have a problem with my mirror neurons this is found in ASD and genetically ASD and ADHD share the same genetics!
the two childhood illnesses i had was The Mumps and Status Epilepticus both of which could have triggered the ADHD off! in my school photo in the 1st class Mrs George i'm smiling.
this may not seem like much now but trust there is alot more to post and re edit to this and when all the pieces come together you can judge for youself :)

when I was about 13ish I had to see an educational psycologist this was because i put shame on the school getting caught by the local paper and was under the heading snapped in the act! my mother had the paper I recall her saying is this you showing me the paper and i claimed it was sombody else and tried not to make a big deal of it! :)
so i see this shrink his first question to me Why do you truent?
I could not say at the time well doc I have a complex condition that effect my mood and behaviour yadda yadda ya!
what i said was because i want to :)
and that was that end of session i went home :)
i was on the detention list for over a year the other kids would start to snigger when my name was called out in assembly on the detention list I only ever recall doing one detention at the school and that was because I ment to call mr davis mr but it came out as dopey in the front of the class so!
and i remember a mate of mine had detention and he feared his math teacher wanted to bum him so i had to pretend i was his cousin :)
i recall an occasion with a head mistress a Mrs Pugh she gave me a compact pen and pencil to get me on the compact scheme!
which i gladly accepted before jumping the fence ;)
like bribary was going to keep me in school!
i remember we was watching a play put on for the school and some drag act sat on my wood work teacher Mr cosgroves lap and i blurted soming out probally along the lines of him having wood, a stiffy, a boner, a hard on i recall i had to watch the rest of the play sat next to him.

phil's first ever post!!! :O

Hello peeps,
This is my first ever attempt at blogging :D
what is going on in my life at this moment in time well I'm tired, really tired and I've been getting the sleep faries in making a right mess of my bed :)
I'm on a waiting list to go to a sleep clinic but no actual date has been confirmed as yet!

This obstructive sleep Apneoa well it could kill me in my sleep but then I may feel rested :)

But this constant feeling of tiredness is a blessing and a curse-

*A blessing in the respect that being tired is counter acting on the implusive nature of my ADHD and that is right I did say ADHD! ADHD is the primary cause of my sleep disorder! the best thing about this extream tiredness is I'm in the black with the bank :)

*A curse in the way of I have combined ADHD all my life since I was a child I was "spaced" in the day and came to life a bit as soon as I got out of school in adult life everyday is like a constant battle trying to get on top of things most people just take for granted! nothing is getting done my gardens a jungle blah blah blah.
an old friend that I have known since we was Pups pointed out in the time I spend on facebook ect;
I could have got my garden done!
He does not understand that the only way I am going to get on top of things is with medication this is in my DNA!
there is a list of things I really want to get done but theres that old saying if I want with the one hand and shit in the other I know which would get full first :)
I'm going to try and keep this blog going and post everyday because maybe people would empathise and it could change there views and maybe it would be a change for the better and people my start to be less biggoted in there opinions (I have a dream) :D